kelly lorraine caldwell | a working mother mind in a stay-at-home mom life

I helped out for a few days at my old job this week. I think I have a newfound appreciation for being a SAHM [stay-at-home mom] now. It’s probably a combination of the actual job/environment I worked in with my overanxious get-it-done NOW personality, but the extreme frantic pace of my working-mother life is totally stressful. I DON’T miss trying to get the kids going in the morning, and then out the door, and after being exhausted from work, shlepping the kids back home in time to figure out and cook dinner, convince everyone to actually eat it – and quickly! – bc there are still baths and bedtimes to handle. And then having to do it all over again another day. And another. I suspect it is much easier for planners, but unfortunately, that is just not my makeup.

I guess that while I don’t feel like I’m doing anything right or well at home, and as much as I often want to throw the kids out the window bc they are grating on my very last nerve, there is something very nice about the flexibility our “schedule” affords. Granted I say this before the school year starts. We’ll see if my tune changes next week…

So my preschooler had his first *major* tantrum today. I suppose that it’s quite amazing that it has taken this long  [which is also not to say that we have not had meltdowns in the past - we've just reached a new level this time] – but the nuances of what to do about this one have left me rather perplexed.

Have you ever had a time when you don’t get your way so you’re mad, and at the same time you KNOW that you’re supposed to “be good” so you feel conflicted and a little bit guilty, and no one is listening to you so you feel lonely, but that’s bc you don’t know how to explain what you’re feeling so you feel confused and frustrated? *I* don’t even know how to cope well when I feel like that. So my question is: how then do you teach a 4yo who can’t even recognize most, if any, of these complex emotions, to deal with the situation when you can’t even handle it yourself?

When I was in middle school, my friends and I were obsessed w funny sayings on keychains and t-shirts. One that comes to mind often: “I can only please one person per day. Today isn’t your day; tomorrow doesn’t look good either.”

This is *exactly* how my child-rearing goes. I can only mentally focus on one child at a time, and so our days are filled w one whining about something, or the other crying over something else, occasionally both in full tantrums about God-knows-what, and more often than I’d like, all three of us in total meltdown. I am thankful when the weekend comes and my husband is home to rebalance the ratio to 1:1.

And thusly, our family is complete at qty4, thankyouverymuch.

So I can accept that I won’t be winning any mom-awards: my kids watch too much television. I’m at least hoping for the concession prize of being a mediocre-to-okay mom bc the viewing is age-appropriate, with limited commercials, and only at my discretion. Cast your votes now… or rather, don’t. I’d probably prefer not to know.