kelly lorraine caldwell | a working mother mind in a stay-at-home mom life

T-minus thirteen months?

August 17, 2010 • ABOUT ME, LIFE, ,

So I seem to be on an interesting path to self-discovery, which is somewhat appropo/useful, as I am thirteen months away from the big three-o, an obvious [albeit relatively arbitrary] milestone into “adulthood”. I’m glad it is still a bit off in the distance, as I think this process is certainly underway, but not in any big rush.

Recently, I was struck by the stunning realization that I am NOT my innate tendencies. I collect accumulate all sorts of “useful” detritus. As a crafter and an artist, I typically justify all these bits and pieces as something I *could* use or possibly something I *might* need. And I absolutely could/might. BUT not only does having all this STUFF cause me undue stress [one - bc of the clutter and the need to organize it all and two - bc then I have the sword hanging over my head of all these uncompleted, if even started, projects] but it may actually hinder my true talent: off-the-cuff problem-solving creativity. Example: perhaps I will need to collage something but maybe in the future I won’t be able to afford to go to the craft store to buy materials. I most certainly have the make-it-work attitude to use whatever means I DO have – dollar store materials, thrift store finds, old clothes, old newspapers, cereal boxes, whatever. In fact I probably thrive in the unusual circumstances. And so… a massive cleaning project [physical, mental, and emotional] is underway.

“To become a success at what they did, they had to shed some part of their own identity.” Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell, p.266

One hot mess

July 11, 2010 • FAMILY, LIFE, ,

So my preschooler had his first *major* tantrum today. I suppose that it’s quite amazing that it has taken this long  [which is also not to say that we have not had meltdowns in the past - we've just reached a new level this time] – but the nuances of what to do about this one have left me rather perplexed.

Have you ever had a time when you don’t get your way so you’re mad, and at the same time you KNOW that you’re supposed to “be good” so you feel conflicted and a little bit guilty, and no one is listening to you so you feel lonely, but that’s bc you don’t know how to explain what you’re feeling so you feel confused and frustrated? *I* don’t even know how to cope well when I feel like that. So my question is: how then do you teach a 4yo who can’t even recognize most, if any, of these complex emotions, to deal with the situation when you can’t even handle it yourself?